Jumping to Conclusions

Taking a step back and evaluating premature conclusions.

An uncanny ability that all humans have is jumping to conclusions. We are pros at it. We hear the latest gossip and instantly make our own conclusions (whether right or wrong). We hear one side of a story and either praise or vilify the other. We have what seems like a neutral discussion only to add our two-cents a wee bit early and show our oft-wrong conclusions. But personally, 9.9/10 times I am often wrong and have to put my foot in my mouth with a time of humiliating reflection.

I have been reading a book about [biblical] counseling and engaged in several conversations throughout this week that have inspired these thoughts. The content of those activities have forced me to step back and evaluate the often premature conclusions I ended up having when I talked with others and thought through my thoughts. While the biblical counseling book does have a Christian lens to it, it nevertheless provided an objectively accurate example of how we can generically categorize problems or issues yet have a variety of specific reasons why individuals externally show the same problems. That may seem like a “duh” in hindsight, but as I think about how I process information from others, I often do immediately categorize generically without asking questions that actually help me understand the other person better. Additionally, with the rise of motivational speakers and celebrities like Jordan Peterson (no particular knock against him), we untrained laypersons feel like we can easily create clinical-like conclusions that are often flat-out insensitive and inaccurate.

Is it easy to spot certain surface-level issues? Yeah, probably. External elements like fear, jealously, control, hopelessness, or exuberant joy are easy to detect. When we also think about why people choose to act the way they do, we easily categorize them into characteristics like I just mentioned. But more often than not, we don’t actually understand why people have made that choice, and if you have ever sat down and been humbled by the other person’s reasoning you know that you got almost everything backwards then you initially thought.

What’s the point in saying all this? If we want to eat our own words less, create less conflict, be more understanding, be better listeners, and help others in more effective ways, we must stop jumping to conclusions. It means that we must be wiser in our thoughts, questions, and responses. The book of Proverbs provides valuable wisdom and insight into how we can better listen and respond when intaking information around us daily.

Proverbs 18:2 “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.” (ESV)

Proverbs 18:13 “If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.” (ESV)

Proverbs 29:20 “Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.” (ESV)

It is far better to be quiet, listen, and understand than to arrogantly and prematurely speak your mind because you’ve made your conclusion. How many times do we create unnecessary bitterness, anger, strife, and conflict all because we failed to listen first? We offered our opinion first because we were confident and assumed we knew the right response immediately without thought because it seems to make sense to us. How many arguments could’ve been avoided or resolved more quickly if we just sat and listen to the other person while being slow to anger? Probably most. But we suffer the same problems each time: we jump to conclusions and speak before we try to more fully understand what the other person is saying. And even if we really do understand the other person, we still must think and be wise in how we respond with our conclusions.

I write this as someone whose vocational field sometimes seems to employ wittiness in classroom management dialogue. If a student is misbehaving, the easiest (but sometimes the worst) way to snuff out the disruption is to respond with cutting wittiness and make probably ludicrous conclusions about that student. We see a student blurt out random comments to be funny and we assume they are just shallowly a class-clown who just wants attention because they are immature. While that may be a short generic conclusion, there are probably a few other underlying reasons for the issue (often home life, self-esteem, issues with academic performance, etc). That is not to say that I must take fifteen extra minutes to hash that out in class in public, but it may be worthwhile at a separate point if possible to sit down and talk with that student about what is going on and why do they do that. This is clearly specific to my field of education, but I’m sure this can be easily abstracted to whatever occupation you have.

Point being: it is wiser to be slow to speak, quick to listen, quick to understand, and slow to anger when interacting with others. You may find if you do these things that you find yourself in fewer conflicts and arguments and require putting a few less foots in your mouth.

~Elliott